I recently needed some help from someone I used to employ. I have paid thousands of dollars to this person over the years. And I had tons of service, fun and friendship.
But one day, there came a point when I didn’t need them in my life anymore. We had gone our separate ways. My business changed and it was time to part ways.
Endings are often full of unpleasant moments. There is disappointment and a sense of loss. Both sides can feel injured, perhaps even unappreciated. But it is part of life and life goes on…
That is…until you reconnect.
So, the IRS decide to audit me. Yikes! Scramble to get numbers and receipts together. The fun begins…
And I needed to go back to this business professional that I had employed for many years. That person who I had shared good and bad times both business and personal.
And trying to get a receipt for monies paid became a pain in the bum! No response to emails. I went the social media route and did the courtesy of a private message. A terse response followed. And it got me to thinking of that old adage:
Character is shown by how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
So now I’m not spending thousands of dollars annually to avail myself of this person’s services, I’m chopped liver? Yes!
But what does it say about her character?
And I look inwards and say, what does it say about mine?
I know that sometimes I have been frustrated over the years by requests from past clients and students looking for information or free services. Including the odd missing receipt! And how do I respond?
With kindness and compassion.
I respond promptly, do what I can, answer questions, supply their needs. Why? Because that’s how you go through life with self-respect. That’s how you tell the universe and the Great Goodness how you wish to be treated.
And maybe our paths will cross again and they’ll once again want to do business with me. And maybe they won’t, but I know that I feel good putting my head on the pillow at night.
So, this whole incident got to me to thinking about how I can sometimes be less than compassionate and kind. And I’m tuning myself up! Self respect has to be high on my list of personal attributes. Don’t be compassionate and kind so that others admire you. Admire yourself!
Yes, I can go to bed tonight with my cares behind me and feeling good about me. Can you? If not, can you think of any changes you can make that will help you to feel good about you?
Looking good ~ feeling great! Choose Happy and make your life sparkle!
PS Found a lovely message from Kuan Yin: Release judgments about yourself and others, and focus on the love and light that is within everyone. Gentleness is the strength behind true power, and it comes from feeding yourself with nourishing words, thoughts, deeds, intentions, and all forms of food. Shield yourself from harshness by placing an intention to attract only kind and gentle life lessons and relationships.
PPS Another lesson learned that I share: don’t rely on cancelled checks…get receipts for payments as you go. And put contracts in place when doing business, even with people you trust and value as friends.
PPPS How did it end? After receiving an email asking me to pay her $50 per ‘search’ of her records, I let it go. Apparently Revenue Canada don’t think very highly of that practice! And the IRS…fingers crossed they take my photocopies of cancelled checks and accompanying bank statements.
Miriam McLean Kroschel says
Lovely, Jacque.
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
Thank you. <3
thebusyhedonist says
Your sparkling and kind character shines through in this post. Letting it go is the best thing you could have done. At least you know who you are: a wonderful person who always chooses the happy way.
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
Ahhh…thank you Tracey! I was angry and I was hurt, but it passed and I now only shake my head and focus on what I can do. Living, learning and sharing. xox
Belinda rose says
Living by the Golden Rule and treating another as we’d like to be treated is the way of love. I think you did that Jacqueline…beautifully! XO
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
Thank you Belinda. The Golden Rule is the happy way!
Minling says
What a great reminder to treat others with compassion. In this day in age we forget about this basic and powerful gesture and only think about what we can get out of each situation. Hoping more people read this and realize life is more fulfilling when you can help others!
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
I was President of the Anxiety Disorders Association of Ontario for a 2 year term. During this time we developed a 14 week program to help those living with anxiety. One of the most important things we taught was about the simple power of getting out of yourself and helping others. Very powerful indeed on so many levels. Thank you
The Queen of Twitter says
I really felt for you @JFairbrass:disqus this article is a great reminder for me, I have to remind myself to be compassionate to myself and forgive others that wind me up…LOL
easier said than done sometimes. I have only learnt in the last five years that
the kinder I am on myself the happier I become. Understanding and learning that
my emotions are OK has become part of my personal journey 🙂 x
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
Woohoo!!! Emotions are part of the human experience…learning to have them but not necessarily react to them is a powerful tool in your Happiness tool kit! Good job 🙂
leah_DefytheBox says
Love the quote about Kuan Yin. I find these kinds of experience give us an opportunity to check in with ourselves to see what needs a bit of tuning up.
Your ex -associates response makes me wonder what’s going on with her to be responding in such a way. Sounds like she is hurting in some way. It’s so lovely that you are not taking it personally and can stay loving and compassionate. BUt that’s one of the things I admire about you!
I agree with the idea of letting it all go instead of pushing against it. That is often the solution that feels best to me.
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
We definitely have to choose our battles Leah! And thank you for dropping by and sharing. xox
Kirsty Burton says
What an important message you are getting across here. I find myself to be a caring and empathetic person by nature, but I often find compassion one of the hardest skills to master, with self-respect and self-discipline at the top level of difficulty. It is also a really difficult task to look-inwards. Some of the most importance advice I was told recently, was not to blame and judge others. The way you are treated, and when challenges arise, is the perfect opportunity to look inwwards. But is it, as you say, serious business, and quite painful if you ask me. Well done on your ability to be compassionate towards this person, I can imagine it being a hugely difficult challenge.
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
Wouldn’t the world be a nicer place if we got honest, looked inwards and found that compassion for ourselves? Looking in does take strength, but that’s also where our power lies. Love that you are brave enough to take the challenge. You will teach others it’s safe to go there! xox