Damn Martha Stewart!

I woke up bright and early this Saturday morning. And thought I’d start the day with a nice cuppa tea. Okay, there’s nothing very unusual about that. I waved hubby off to work + curled up on the sofa. Very large and lovely mug of steaming English Breakfast Tea. Puppy curled in a ball at my feet. Life is good!

And I picked up the latest copy of Martha Stewart Living, thinking I’d treat myself to a little ‘me’ time with a nice magazine.

Damn Martha Stewart!

Ooh was followed quickly by aah, as I perused the glossy pages. Soaked up the gorgeous images. Laughed at the playfully written alliterations. And my early start to relaxation disappeared! Out came the notepad and a pen as my excitement grew.

Yes, yes, I must go to Staples and get some of those fabulous office organizing thingies in assorted beautiful + harmonious colors. Ooh, there’s a coupon too.

Yummy, I’d like to make a curried, red lentil, dried cherry + coriander soup Oh, oh, yes! And a scalloped potato dish with fresh morels, heavy cream, leeks + green garlic. I don’t mind if I do. My list was growing.

Next the notion just flew into my head. I definitely need to label everything in the cupboards. Such pretty labels.

And on to the spring cleaning! Having just had the house painted, I’ve got a head start. The shopping list was growing exponentially as I added natural cleaning products. And of course, beautiful bottles to keep them in.

Finally, I was getting excited about gardening. Imagining myself in the garden, wooden box of pristine gardening tools, straw hat on my head, pretty gloves to protect my hands.

Hang about. I don’t even like gardening!

It’s 7:30 and I’m exhausted. Damn Martha Stewart!

I’ve shopped ’til I dropped! The inadequateness (is that a real word?) of my day is flooding in. I have a to-do list to beat the band!

Stop!

I decided to lie down on the sofa and close my eyes.

Images of organizing in pretty shades, serving fabulous meals on co-coordinating platters. I’m arranging flowers in pleasing shapes + whizzing around with a duster. Like Doris Day in an old movie. These images flood my mind. (Yes, in my mind I was wearing a 1950’s type dress with an apron, + somehow my unruly red curls had become pristine blonde hair.)

Gradually my breathing returned to normal.

I have thrown my list in the bin! I am sitting at my slightly messy desk, sipping another cup of delicious tea. The puppy still sleeps curled at my feet. All is well.

Apart from a few eerie crevices of my mind. Afterall, I do have to go to the grocery store anyway. Perhaps the scalloped potatoes…hmmm. I’ll grab the polish + get my desk gleaming this afternoon.

It hasn’t all gone away, the ideas lurk in the depths of my mind. As I said at the beginning, ‘Damn Martha Stewart’.

(Disclaimer: Just to make it clear, I mean no offence to MS ~ I absolutely love her and will continue to once-a-month drive myself insane by enjoying her fabulous magazine!)

 

Jacqueline Fairbrass