Not My Finest Moment

The trouble with perfectionism is that we never get it right.

I’ve always tried hard. Came from childhood programming. Where, quite simply, I was absolutely never, ever good enough. Can you relate?

I came home with a mathematics exam. An excited, exuberant young tween. I’d got 96%. That’s right. A whopping A+ with knobs on it. Ecstatic, I showed my father. He berated me, and we had to go through the whole exam to find those missing 4 points.

Of course, this wasn’t the first incident. Nor would it be our last. But on this occasion, for some reason, perhaps hormones? Anyhoos, I gave up. I quit. The rest of the school term passed by and I was dropped from the top group to the bottom. Where funnily enough, I was top of the class. A 65% moved me up to the next class, but I really no longer cared.

And ‘not my finest moment’ became part of my life. Those moments when I’d tried my best and, using my father’s words, I ‘failed.’ And I’d sink into depression and self-abuse.

A pattern that continued. Even though I had many successes in life. In fact, looking back, I’m on a pretty good roll. Yet, every ‘mistake’ or perceived mistake became something I beat myself up with.

Know this pattern?

This negative voice in our heads, which we collectively call The Script, has been growing. Like a page added each day according to Richard Wilkins of The Ministry of Inspiration. Imagine how big your script is right now!

It never goes away. And I should know. Thousands of dollars spent on Psychotherapy and Coaching. A lifetime of Complementary and Alternate Medicine, and even Spiritual Quests. When I hit rock bottom a few years back (a story for another day) I was contemplating ending it all. That’s rock bottom!

And I learned about The Script, and quite simply, that it’s not the real me. And it’s not the real you either. We all came into life as open hearted little babes. No baby is a failure. Every one of us has been openhearted and arrived straight from spirit.

I now encourage others to learn that the negative voice in the head, The Script, isn’t the real you. Or me. And how to recognise it and return to love. If I can do it from rock bottom, then so can you.

Let me know if you’d like a Discovery Call to learn more. Or if joining a group to Consciously Create Compassion where we have meaningful conversations and support each other heart-to-heart is something you’d love to do.

Or tell me your story of ‘not my finest moment.’ No judgement here. Get it off your chest.

Big love